Friday, September 23, 2011

Quote of the day: Daphne Guiness [roast]

"If I eat, I can't work. I'll eat when I'm dead."

Yeah? Great plan lady!
Just don't eat!
Pretty sure I'm at work right now, and I'm eating pizza shapes, and everything's still fine!

If you can't eat and get shit done, you've got issues bitch!

Maybe you're just referring to the perils of multi-tasking.
You need to get with the times and eat some celery sticks [or in my case, sushi], while sms-ing 4 close friends on your "lunch-break", whilst watching an episode of HawthoRNe and reading 3 trash mags.

If you can't do all that at once, what kind of woman ARE you?!

And your infamous motto?
"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"

Well, you're WRONG!
You clearly haven't tasted anything from the FUN aisle of the supermarket!

And I'm sure your bony ass feels like a plastic shopping bag filled with scrap metal.

Just get back on your stilt shoes [Gaga shits on you by far in the shoe department anyway],
scrape back your manky grey rat hair,
slap on some talc-esque face powder + tranny shadow,


Wear + Tear.

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